Dreams Of Doubt


I doubt everything,
I ache for faith,
but I doubt everything.


I dreamed of the Sistene ceiling
and I stretched my hands out 
without any real effort 
to touch (what? The divine?)

Holy dust poured from my hands,
A priest approaches,
He anoints my brow 
while chanting:


"Hail Mary, full of grace,
the Lord is with thee; 

blessed art thou amongst women, 
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. 
Holy Mary, Mother of God, 
pray for us sinners, 
now and at the hour of our death."

The priest is a blur of black and white, 
He tells me to repeat the prayer
I cannot will my mouth to move,

He traces the shape of a cross 
in the air before my eyes


"May the words
be in your heart
on your lips
and in your mind"
The priest expects me to speak,
still I cannot will my mouth to move.

I gaze up maybe 
the words will come 
if I am inspired by 
the work above,

But I see a massive mirror
where there was 
once an ornate fresco,

I see only 
my own reflection
No god, and no Michelangelo.

7 comments:

  1. "I ache for faith, but i doubt everything."

    Amen, Brother. (And what a week to be reading this, with Passover and Easter upon us.) :-)

    Seriously, this touched some dark corners. Stop that. ;-)

    Some Dark Romantic

    ReplyDelete
  2. But I so enjoy touching the dark corners.

    ReplyDelete
  3. i think our problem is the I. i know this loneliness. once i thought it was real. (and it remains real on a certain level, each of us as individuals, however i now begin to see our connectedness.)

    this from Joseph Campbell's The Hero's Journey

    Live from your own center. . . .
    The divine lives within you.
    The separateness apparent in the world is secondary.
    Beyond the world of opposites is an unseen,
    but experienced, unity and identity in us all.

    xo
    erin

    ReplyDelete
  4. Beautiful -and sad.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Such a haunting piece! Well done!!

    DL Hammons @ Cruising Altitude 2.0
    Co-Host of the Blogging from A to Z Challenge.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Wow! I love the picture at the top of your blog, and I love your poetry. No DOUBT, I'm gonna have to sign on as your newest follower.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Ma'am.
      That photo was taken at Bonaventure Cemetery in Savannah, GA.
      I believe my brother took that photo last year, but I can't quite remember.
      Thank you for the compliments.

      Delete