There are few places left
with prehistoric roots drinking cold & clean springs
where glossy black eyes peer out of the green
open mouth of the ancient earth
accusing me of stepping
on sacred sands,
and trespassing in the last home of living stones
I would like to ask you something:
ReplyDeleteDo I use to much emotion in my poems? Are they too bold, too blunt, I have been given advice and told that the lyricism, the flowing music of my poetry is not there. I don't know how to write a poem now.
The whole reason I write poetry is to be blunt and emotional, but if no one likes that than no one will read it. How does one dull down the emotion portrayed in words.
I admire you, you have always been honest with me and have been with my blog since I've only had about ten follows. Your poems are rich with an easy flowing music; so if you tell me that I use too much emotion or that I need the fix the bluntness, or the way I use words than I will believe you.
Side note:**
I love this poem, simple with a slow melody to it, but it also has a power, a power that comes naturally from the poet.
Thank you for the compliment,
Deleteand reading what I'm writing.
I am no one to tell you how to write.
ReplyDeleteI will say that there have been times while reading your work that a certain word or phrase would kind of trip me up, or cause a slight mental stutter.
I do not think that there is a problem with being blunt, or overemotional. Maybe you should experiment with words? May even pull out a thesaurus, and replace a few words in your existing poems.
Edit them, read them aloud.
With this being said this is simply advice humbly given, because you asked.
DeleteWith a poem you can’t get it ‘wrong’. You can improve on a basic idea and polish your work, tinkering with a line or a word here or there. But it’s not wrong. And if you’re not happy, you can start the process again.
-Akulah Agbami
Thanks. I will do that. Thanks for the advice.
DeleteYou are more than welcome.
ReplyDeleteThank you for thinking enough of my writing to ask for advice from me!
Joseph